Teacher Training
by Carnivalgirl
Summary: A young prospective Professor Remus Lupin is at a loss the day before his big Teaching Exam, but his friends are on hand to help him 'revise' in a challenging, but definitely fun, way. Dedicated to all summer exam sufferers! Please read and review!


**A/N: **_I love toying with the idea of MWPPL's jobs between Hogwarts and James and Lily's deaths. Though he probably takes whatever's available, I wonder if Remus always wanted to be a teacher. Anyway, this silly fic is a dedication to all of you who have had exams, because revision, however I put it, is not fun. At all. Enjoy the story! Nothing belongs to me, and I'm aware the timing of the last line is a little off..._

After wasting a ridiculous amount of time having hot chocolate with Hazel, Remus Lupin, teacher in training, returned to the Order Headquarters where he was currently living. He looked at the papers scattered around his room and sighed.

"Better start getting ready..." he thought to himself. There didn't seem to be much you could do to prepare for a practical teaching exam. He had tried educating some of the little children that were around in HQ, but they just looked at him strangely and shuffled away to play. Still, he picked up an armful of notes, and sat down on his bed to read through them.

Concentrating on this terribly boring revision material was hard enough, but this student's concentration was further interrupted by the sounds of music, shouts and laughter coming from the living room. Fighting an urge to join what sounded like James, Sirius and Peter, he tried to get his head down. Unfortunately, his brain had forgotten where he was supposed to be reading, and he realised he would need to tell them to quieten down. By all means, they ought to be studying too. However, this situation was exactly like all the other exams the Marauders had taken together. He would study, or aim to study, his socks off, and feel very upset with himself if he didn't. Peter would try to study as hard as his friend, but get distracted too much by James and Sirius, who were two of those _annoying _people who get excellent marks without breaking a sweat.

So, Remus came to the living room, and gently opened the door.

"Er, guys, can you...?" The room fell silent. There was a sound of shuffling chairs and hastily stuffing paper aeroplanes and cranes into bags. For Remus had before him what appeared to be a class room. At the front of the room was a huge piece of paper suspended from two candlesticks, like a blackboard. There were six little desks, which appeared to be the dining table with a Dividing Charm, with James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Alice and Frank sat at them, dressed in full Gryffindor uniforms. Sirius and James's uniforms still fit, while the other four were bursting out of their uniforms. Frank had built up his muscles, Peter had built up his fat, and Alice and Lily would both be having babies in a few weeks' time.

"Er...what is this?"

"We thought we'd give you a hand with your revision." Peter explained. "Teach us stuff."

Remus gulped. "OK..."

He went to the front of the 'class', and greeted them. He got a resounding "Good afternoon, Professor Lupin" from Peter, Alice and Frank, and an enthusiastic nod from Lily, who was suffering from a sore throat and couldn't speak. James and Sirius casually drawled "Allright."

"Ermm...OK, today, we're going to learn about...defensive spells!"

"Wait, sir, don't you want our homework?" Alice asked, brightly, producing a piece of paper.

"Er...my owl ate it." Peter said, dejectedly.

"Well, _some of us _care about our education." Sirius removed his feet from the desk (Remus scolded himself for forgetting to tell him off about that) and produced a piece of paper with an artful flourish. Remus took the 'essays', and looked at them briefly. Alice's said;

**Defence Against the Dark Arts Essay by Alice. Defence Against the Dark Arts is very useful, but it is also really hard! It just goes in one ear and out the other with me. I prefer subjects which are a bit more light-hearted, no offence. My favourite subject is Herbology but I do like my Defence professor. Good luck with your exam, Remus! You'll be fine! Love Alice**."

Sirius's, on the other hand, was a very simple sentence that had been chewed up and vomited by a thesaurus. "_Defence Against the Dark Arts is an extraordinarily enthralling speciality, thus, I have elected to partake it in my pursuit of academic qualifications. Nonetheless, indubitably, I happen to possess knowledge of everything there is to have knowledge of, so to execute this, as they say in Latin, _laboris_ is futile. Therefore, I hereby conclude that I am..."_

"Mr Black." Remus said, frowning at his friend, who had returned his feet to the table and was talking to James. "I suggest you do the essay again. That...er...applies for all of you except Alice. Thank you, Alice, you can...er...have a gold star. Because, Mr Black, you have copied your essay."

"I have not!"

"You have. Because you've signed it, by The Best Pupil in the World Ever."

They all laughed, and Remus suddenly felt a lot more relaxed. Deciding to have a little fun, he taught them all Disarming Charms, which were very easy, and wrote down the Patronus Charm, which was his favourite. He was just writing about the happy memory idea when, unless he was quite mistaken, he could hear a strained sound behind him. He turned, and Lily had her hand up.

"Yes, Mrs Potter?" Remus answered. Lily indicated Sirius, who smiled innocently.

"He was poking her in the back with a quill." Alice said, looking snidely at Sirius.

"Tell-tale!" Sirius hissed, and they all laughed.

"Mr Black...such childish behaviour won't be tolerated at this school. You are here to learn, and allow other people to...learn without distractions."

"Yeah, whatever." Sirius said, putting his feet back on the table and smiling obnoxiously at him. Remus had a horrible feeling he'd get tested on this kind of situation, and grimaced before braving it.

"Mr Black, are you...are you listening?"

"_No._" Sirius smiled. Remus smiled back.

"Except for the part where you obviously are." he said. "Now, if you can continue that, which I believe you can, you might learn something."

The lesson actually went much better than Remus had imagined. He _did _have to confiscate James and Sirius's wands when they cast a spell which made the room ring with 'Baaas', but Lily, Peter, Frank and Alice all did very well. When James and Sirius protested about not having wands to practise from, Remus handed them 'the textbook'. It was really a copy of 'Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle', probably belonging to one of the children (or perhaps one of the 'children'), and Sirius and James were laughing like schoolboys while Lily showed her perfect Patronus off to Peter and Alice lovingly told Frank that her happy memory was their wedding day.

"So what are the text's main points? Remus asked Sirius and James, nodding at the comic.

"Er...well, Martin is having an adventure with a vacuum cleaner. It's like an animal that eats dirt, and you can buy it to live in your house. And it goes mad and starts chasing him, because one of his socks goes up its nose and it can't get it out." Sirius explained.

"So what spell would you use to calm down this...animal?"

"_Waddiwasi._" James said.

"Gold star." Remus said proudly.

After a hour of practise and laughs, Remus packed up his things, and his 'pupils' all went out of the room to carry on with things. All, that is, except James.

"Professor Lupin?" James had that meek look about him that Remus had seen so many times. He was about to pull a prank, but hopefully a nice one. That, or the 'teacher training' was going extra-curricular. "May I talk to you about something...private? I just...don't know who to turn to." his friend said, with an air of desperation and tragedy.

"Well, OK..." Remus said, sitting down and gesturing to James to do the same. He thought he could hear sounds outside the door, but he ignored them. James looked around nervously.

"Take your time..."

"No, no, it's best if I just say it. I've...I...oh, Merlin, I can't believe I'm telling this to a _teacher..._" Remus looked at him supportively, though his keen eyes could see the grin James was surpressing.

"I've got my girlfriend pregnant." James 'confessed'. Remus, who struggled not to laugh out lous, maintained a professional veneer.

"Yes, I wondered if she..."

"Oh, Merlin, she's starting to show, isn't she?!" James wailed in mock horror. The other five, who were outside the door, burst out laughing.

"Yes, I'd definitely say so. How far gone is she?"

"I don't know." James said sadly. Remus looked at him sympathetically and put a supportive hand on his should, and James leaned towards him and returned to his normal voice momentarily. "No, really." he whispered. "I don't."

At that point, Remus burst out laughing, and James acted offended.

"I thought I could trust you!" He said, angrily, though he wasn't shaking with rage.

"James..." Remus said. "Sit down." James returned to his seat, scowling.

"You and Lily need to...er...have a decision about what you want to do about your baby. It's her body so ultimately the decision is hers, but the baby is 50 yours, so don't let her leave you completely out of the picture. I'd say _do _tell your parents, but if you really feel uncomfortable than do what you feel is best. If you feel your relationship with Lily can stand this, then that's wonderful news for your child, but if it can't, and that's understandable, because you're only...er...14." James laughed. "...I do suggest you try to stay friends. Oh, and you'll need to consult the school nurse. She'll be more of an expert on these things than me. I teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, not Defence Against the Nappy."

Remus breathed out, and James smiled at him.

"Thanks, Professor." he said, and then once again 'returned' to himself. "You're going to be _fine_."

Remus had thought that was it, but there was one last surprise for him the next morning at breakfast. He was extremely edgy, despite Lily's loving efforts to provide him with a hearty breakfast, and stayed silent while the others chatted. He was going to read through his papers, but Dumbledore, who just _had _to be there that morning to add to Remus's anxiety, gently took them away.

"Remus, the only things your mind will take in is what it doesn't know. And when you see something you don't know, you will be thrown. Be confident, Remus."

Remus sighed softly and said. "Yes, Professor Dumbledore."

And then, as he waited to be called in for the exam, Remus sadly put his hands in the pockets of his old brown jacket (complete with leather patches, naturally), and felt a folded piece of paper in there. He pulled it out and unfolded it. It was a poem.

"'_Oh Captain! My Captain_?"


End file.
